The Battle has been Won.

“I wish I never saw the sunshine. And if I never saw the sunshine, I guess I wouldn’t mind the rain”.

But our capacity to know one is almost inseparable from our ability to understand the other. Such is the unbearable equivocal nature of life.

Note to self: Pain has often been felt several degrees more excruciatingly than Joy. At my most joyous I believe I felt a sensation not unlike Peace. A quiet confidence, a gentle acceptance, a very likeable, desirable, state of being that made me feel that I belonged right where I did. I had learned to recognize this feeling and each time I felt it, I knew it bode of something I must protect and preserve. But that since I probably did not deserve it, it was nothing short of Divine Grace that I should receive it hence I should continue to trust that it shall be abundant. This is such a powerful promise that each time I staked this claim, it still brings a smile to my face.

Joy wasn’t theatrical. Nor was it loud. At best with Joy, I bore a smile often and I believe the lightness of my gait and the sheer goodness of how I felt helped several bodily ailments such as poor blood circulation, constipation and indigestion and I looked much better too.

Pain on the other hand, wore many faces. Dark thoughts that fester and swallow every ounce of self-belief, conspiratorial self-centered insecurities that show me an all-consuming self-absorbed world of self-doubt; a self-made fortress that in fact strips me powerless and casts fear, makes me seek the comfort of transcient worldly assurances…. and the very physical pain of separation, death, sickness and the loss of the mind that tear the body apart and threatens to never to be put back whole again.

How is it so, I wonder?

Perchance we’re built to learn strength through trials; and Peace through Turbulence. Perchance we’re also made to be at one with ourselves and THIS state, is the very state of Happiness, that its by this equilibrium and its sustainability that we’re anchored, not by spikes of emotional highs.

Afterall, I trust that for the pains inherent to the human experience, we have already been made victorious. A long time ago; in John 3: 16. We just hadn’t fully leveraged the potential of this Promise yet.

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