Lucien…heralding your arrival
8th Nov : Sunday 11pm
Spent the evening watching MSN Videos under Tab called “Stupid Videos”. Laughed heartily at seriously some of the darn stupidest videos ever. Evil Baby Laughter, Dogs doing the Skateboard, etc.
Maybe it’s me, I am 8 months pregnant and this is a serious source of entertainment for me. But it does nothing for the husband, who occasionally gets jolted out of his slumber by my hyena laughter. Everytime he’s about to doze off, I am laughing myself to tears again and he wakes up in a dreamy startle.
Poor man. But how I love him.
Somewhere between the dogs and baby videos, he wakes up and tells me he’s going to catch the Man-U game. The one they lost, cos he came back into bed later all grumpy.
9 Nov: Monday 0400h
Felt a “thud” sound occur INSIDE belly. How strange…like a puncture …
Warm trickle of water … first thought: I laughed too hard I peed in my pants?! No way, I have better pelvic control that THAT!
Stood up to go check. Felt more gush out. Decide to wake up hubby and go toilet real fast.
OOH. Blood.
0410h: Husband can’t open eyes.
I say, CHECK THE HYPNOBIRTH BOOK, what does it say? AM I IN LABOUR??!!
Husband reads a page and casually says No.
Para goes something like this … Signs of Early Labour…
1. Rupture of Membranes (water bag breaks)
2. There is a bloody show..
3. Contractions…
While on toilet bowl, cramps starting, and more blood showing…I stub index frantically on page.. I’m showing TWO of the three symptoms! Are you reading? Are you here? Hello? Sudden fear that I will be laboring alone grips me..
Husband wakes up from stupor and decides to call Doc and our doula. Then he proceeds to go back to bed.
0500-0900…
Contractions are steady 30sec long and 7-8 mins apart… I put on some music and try VERY hard to sleep. I find I do manage to sleep in betwen surges, but would go Hot and Cold each time one came and went….I am about to have a baby..at 36 weeks… I suddenly worry about the health of my baby… isn’t that premature?
0900hr
Message the Boss to say I could be in early labor. He says. “Good Luck!”
0900-1200hr
Suddenly, Nothing.
1400hr
We see Doc who puts me on 45mins CTG…baby’s heart rate decelerates with each contraction…she’s worried.
I was hungry.
She says she wants me admited and for antibiotics to come in by 4pm. I try and buy time. I say I want lunch.
1500hr
Husband and I walk slowly, and I mean very slowly… to Kiliney’s at Lucky Plaza. I finally indulged in 2 soft boiled eggs, one of my eternally favourite things I had to give up due to the pregnancy. Decided that nothing should matter by now when I am about to give birth.
I feel elated, jubilant, confident, happy and excited. I can’t wait to have my baby.
1600hr
I am admitted into the Delivery Suite at Mt E. I didn’t like their hospital gown, so I put mine on.
My elation was quickly dampened when the CTG was strapped on again and they tell me Baby’s heartrate is erratic.
Doc wants to put me on anti biotics… I say no and fnd self negotiating and bargaining for more time. I worry that soon, they will decide that the labour is taking too long and will start to augment it with a series of interventions. I didn’t want to lose control of a moment so intimate to me.
It’s been 12 hrs since labor started…
1600 – 2100hr
Pain intensifies. I struggle to breathe deep and slow as I feel convulsions overtake me.
I am bleeding onto my beautiful gown…I continue to lose water…
2 V.Es tell me I am only 4cm dilated…and it feels like forever.
I sip some water. I throw up. Must be the hormones. Or the pain. I take some grapes. I throw up. I take nothing. I throw up.
My spine hurts. In an electrifying, back- breaking kind of way. I feel like I am going to disintegrate from my spinal cord. And you will never put the million pieces of me back together again.
2200hr
Doc comes and tells me I am not only at 4cm only, cervix is only slightly effaced.
WHAT?! How much longer?!
I want some help. Get me some pain relief! Please…somebody do something. Don’t let this labour kill me. It’s been 18hours of pure pure pain.
2200-24hr
2 hrs of epidural later, I go easily from 4-10cm. By this time, the husband is on the couch asleep and our doula had gone off for some much needed food.
2430hr
Midwives tell me I can push whenever I want.
I suddenly felt this immense fear to push. It’s like pooping a watermelon. I’ve never done this before!
10th Nov, Tues, 0300hr
Almost 23 hrs later, including 3 hrs of pushing, Doc literally throws Baby onto my lap…umbilical cord still there, bloody, fresh from me, 100% baby, just there. I didn’t know what to do. I help him gently and saw his eyes meet mine. For a fleeting second, before he worked his lungs with a wail.
5mins. Just us. Ken, Lucien and I. In our moment of Surreal Togetherness. I already love you baby…
Welcome to my imperfect world and making it better with your Perfection.
……..